10 Days Home

Married for twenty-four sweet days, home for a total of ten. We spent the last few days of our honeymoon in Phuket, Thailand. To say the least, it was not what we expected. As we maneuvered our way down the streets of Phuket towards our hotel our first night there, we passed by many American shops, plenty of street vendors and a few too many bars. Matt could see the pained look on my face when we passed a particular strip with women on tables doing just that… stripping. My cringe worsened when our hotel happened to be just two blocks down the street. We had ourselves to blame for our unfortunate location as we had little research poured into this section of the trip; we really had no idea what to expect out of this city. Though the night life wasn’t for us, it gave us the perfect excuse to relax in the rooftop pool, read our untouched novels and spend some quality time with the sun. We ventured out a little in the afternoons. As we passed by each shop, our Canadian politeness decreased and so did our motivation to go out into the city. We got quite tired of turning down every massage parlor, suit shop and tuk tuk ride every minute we walked. In one way, I was impressed with the Thai people’s hard working lifestyle. We didn’t see any panhandling or homelessness, rather we observed people old and young working long days to make a little income. If it meant more money, then they would ask you for anything but by the fiftieth time… “no, we don’t want a flipping suit”.

 

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I have always wanted to try good old fashion McDonalds somewhere across the globe. Here was my chance, an eighteen dollar Mcdonalds meal later!

We spent one of our four days on a tour to the Phi Phi Islands aka the most beautiful beach ever. We opted for the sunrise tour and headed out on our adventure at five-fifteen that morning. We toured a total of six islands that day, of course, the best was saved for last. The beach was a haven of white pearly sand and the most crystal blue water I have ever laid my eyes on. We snorkeled with exotic fishies, laid eyes on the local monkeys of Monkey Island and snoozed on the beach after lunch. To my misfortune, the boat ride made me rather nauseous. I’m beginning to wonder what modes of transportation don’t make me sick. So this meant Gravol for me, followed by a quest to keep my eyes open until we could catch some shut eye after we ate. Though the meds made me sleepy we still managed to make the most of our boat tour, ending the day with ice cream of course. If you are making travels plans to Thailand, the Phi Phi islands have our highest recommendation. It’s not so often that you can experience something so beautiful like we did that day.

 

It has been ten days of settling into our new “home”. Many of you know that I like to be organized, I worry about things too far in advance and that I overthink most situations in life. No amount of worrying or over thinking prepared me for the first two days of being “home”. I believe it was on the third to last day of our trip that I first experienced a bubbling up of an unsettling feeling. Matt was getting ready for dinner and I was passing the time waiting for him by watching a CSI: Miami rerun. In seconds I broke down in tears, overwhelmed with the thought of “I’m not going home”. In the last few days of our trip, we started to get excited to head home and see some familiar faces again. The realization hit me hard that I was in fact not “going home”, but rather I was heading into a new life, with my new husband, in our new “home”. It was a disquieting burst of emotion. Thoughts such as “I shouldn’t feel this way”, “I should be excited”, “What is Matt going to think of this” flooded my head. I was in no way prepared to feel disappointment about moving in with my husband, something I had dreamed of throughout most of our dating life. I sat and dried my tears in the comfort of Matt’s arms. He was ever-so reassuring that this can’t be abnormal and even more so understanding of how I was feeling. To my dismay, this feeling stretched onwards into the first few days back in Maple Ridge. It was hard passing by my parent’s house on the way back from the airport, and I yearned greatly to see my mom and dad when I got home. A combination of jetlag and missing the familiar had me in tears for the first day of being home. Like I said, nothing had prepared me for this. Though I had imagined our first few days differently, a tad more joyful perhaps, I have been able to truly realize what I value in my life. I value my family, I value a state of consistency, I value my husband who wasn’t angry over my unusual feeling, but instead, helped me up through the sadness.  I am feeling more and more settled each day. I have seen plenty of family, played with my old dog and have embraced my new adventure. It’s given me great pleasure decorating our simple white walls and adding all sorts of “Alex touches” around our new pad. We have yet to get sick of scoping out dinner ideas and are learning new things about each other all the time. I only get to be newly married once, so I am going to celebrate all that it’s worth. I now know that it’s OK to miss your family, the comfort of your old bed and mom’s cooking. I truly do love this next step in my life; like anything new, it naturally takes awhile to wear it in and be comfortable. After all, it has only been ten days.

5 Replies to “10 Days Home”

  1. This is so beautiful and honest Alex, and I think so many can relate. I know it is not the same, but always remember there is a hug waiting upstairs if you need!!

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  2. I love your honesty. Being a newlywed is hard! Especially when it’s so easy to think everything will be perfect because you both love God- He allows things to be messy and painful for our good and his glory 🙂 You are so not alone, and I love that you shared your heart like this. Keep blessing people with your writing, it’s wonderful!

    Liked by 1 person

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